Sunday, October 17, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
For the preservation of the Mustang Daily's shame
"The Movie Buzz" whirrs to a halt
The Mustang Daily and its staff's continued silence regarding Tuesday's "Ebertgate" debacle indicates that they have no intention of formally addressing the issue. Early Wednesday morning, all of infamous plagiarist Alex Petrosian's reviews were pulled from the Mustang Daily website, a clear attempt to cover up the incident, like so many Mustang Daily plagiarism scandals before it.
Unfortunately for Emilie Egger and her despicable co-conspirators, Google does not so easily forget Petrosian's transgressions. So, we the Coalition have taken upon ourselves to preserve the legacy of the Mustang Daily's most prolific plagiarist, to serve as a reminder for future editors-in-chief. Alex Kaplan's primary platform was the implementation of a system of transparency and accountability in Cal Poly's notoriously surreptitious student government. Let us take his visionary platform one step further and extend it to the student-run newspaper that so recently sabotaged his campaign.
A Time Capsule of Dishonor
Monday, May 10, 2010
Ebertgate unfolds
Roger Ebert: world-renowned film critic, Twitter personality, cancer survivor, and third victim of a Mustang Daily plagiarism scandal in as many years
A Pattern of Deception
Long before they were influencing the outcome of student government elections and participating in the deliberate character assassination of Alex Kaplan, the Mustang Daily and its staff were providing an open forum for academic dishonesty.On February 12, 2008 the Mustang Daily printed a comic whose dialogue was stolen directly from the pages of celebrated Icelandic cartoonist Hugleikur Dagsson under the assumption that few Cal Poly students would be familiar with his oeuvre. They assumed wrong. Then-editor-in-chief Kristen Marschall issued an "apology" in which she completely sidestepped the entire issue, trying to sweep it under the rug as if it were an isolated incident and not just one piece of a much larger pattern.
"We would never expect [a cartoonist] to plagiarize," she said, later adding that the work was that of an "obscure Icelandic cartoonist." If Dagsson is an obscure Icelandic artist, I wonder who would qualify as a well-known Icelandic cartoonist. These are just excuses, pathetic attempts to distract readers from the fact that she and every editor-in-chief since her have systematically facilitated plagiarism in the Mustang Daily.
"Journalism is just a gun. It only has one bullet. But if you aim it right, that's all you need. Aim it right and you can blow a kneecap off the world."-Kristen Marschall, on Journalism
Fewer than three months later, the Mustang Daily found itself in the middle of another plagiarism scandal, this time under newly appointed editor-in-chief Marlize van Romburgh. A columnist working for the newspaper had been systematically plagiarizing a variety of online sources. Ms. van Romburgh's solution? To "take proactive steps to avoid [plagiarism] in the future," which amounts to making freelance columnists "sign a contract stating they know what plagiarism is." Rather than address the cause of the problem and resign as editor-in-chief, the ambitious van Romburgh did as her predecessor and deferred culpability to future columnists.
"War, violence and murder are atrocities, but guns are merely props for the people who commit them. It’s when those of us who believe in peace and civilized society quietly give up our right to defend ourselves that the criminals and terrorists gain the upper hand."-Marlize van Romburgh, on guns
If journalism is "just a gun", and guns are "merely props" for bloodthirsty autocrats, as van Romburgh observes, then it follows that the Mustang Daily uses its pages as a weapon for the systematic distortion of fact in the Cal Poly community, as we Coalitionists know all too well.
Despite her alleged commitment to the basic ethics of journalism, van Romburgh hired freelance columnist Alex Petrosian during her tenure at the Mustang Daily. "Luckily for us," she observed just a few months prior, "the same Internet that makes copying so easy for some writers, makes searching for those copied words just as easy for us." No, Marlize, it makes it easier for citizens concerned with social justice to do your job for you, and shed light on the fraudulent practices you helped facilitate.
Alex Petrosian has written literally dozens of columns for the Mustang Daily for over a year. His residence as a columnist for the newspaper has overlapped with two separate administrations, helmed by two editors-in-chief: first Ms. van Romburgh, and now Emilie Egger. In spite of the reform promised during the Marschall and van Romburgh administrations, Petrosian has continued to write for the Mustang Daily unchecked by anti-plagiarism policy.
And here's the kicker: every single review Petrosian has had published in the Mustang Daily has contained content that was directly plagiarized from the corresponding Roger Ebert review. Let us take the opening sentences of Petrosian's most recent review, and compare it against those of Ebert's review of the same film:
“Death Wish,” “Gran Torino,” “Taken.” Three vigilante crime thrillers that all depend on their effectiveness of proving that some aging actors can still convincingly cause entertaining carnage on the big screen.-Alex Petrosian's review of "Harry Brown""Harry Brown" is a revenge thriller poised somewhere between "Death Wish" and "Gran Torino." All three depend on the ability of an older actor to convince us that he's still capable of violence, and all three spend a great deal of time alone with their characters, whose faces must reflect their inner feelings.-Roger Ebert
I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to confirm the pattern in all of Petrosian's reviews, if they so desire. His reviews of "Adventureland" and "Book of Eli" are a good place to start, for the skeptics among us.
Some might say that this is an anomaly, an oversight of the Mustang Daily staff, and not part of a larger conspiracy. Of course, this belief is predicated on several bad premises. First, it requires that we overlook the clear pattern of deception that has defined the Mustang Daily since its inception, almost a century ago. We need not look further back than a few years to see the recent controversies surrounding the pattern. Second, it assumes that Alex Petrosian and I are the only two students on campus who regularly read Roger Ebert's movie column, which is absurd. Roger Ebert is far and away the most prominent and successful film critic, and to think that not a single Journalism major working for the Mustang Daily reads his reviews is insanity. Finally, it requires that we ignore past editor-in-chiefs' promises to do their due diligence on freelance columnists. As Marlize van Romburgh noted, the Internet makes it very easy to catch plagiarism, so why didn't she use it? She had several opportunities.
Once again, the Coalition has demonstrated that the Mustang Daily serves no purpose but to deceive the Cal Poly student body and make our proud University look like a cesspool of academic dishonesty.
We must reclaim our University, and let the powers-that-be in the Mustang Daily know that we will not stand for this. Everyone at the newspaper is culpable for these crimes, under the Standards of Student Conduct, which clearly state that "encouraging, permitting, or assisting another to do any act that could subject him or her to discipline" are "grounds upon which student discipline can be based."
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Know Your Enemy, Vol. II: The Storelli Family
Storellian "Justice"
At first glance, the growing movement against Alex Kaplan within Cal Poly seems to be symptomatic of a ruthless politician's thirst for power, but intelligence gathered by CRAKCPC operatives indicates that the problem is much larger than one woman's political ambitions. Sarah Storelli's insidious campaign rhetoric and misappropriation of university resources toward her own nefarious goals reflect a hereditary pattern exhibited by all Storellis.
In 2007, Christopher Storelli published a crude manifesto in which he illuminates the perverted Storelli brand of justice. "Justice is a concept that is balanced between law and morality," he tells us. "Laws can be used for the good or bad of a nation's citizens. Those that support citizens and create and promote social harmony are considered just." Ostensibly, this definition seems too uncharacteristically selfless and egalitarian to have emerged from a twisted Storelli mind. However, "balance" and "harmony" are vague abstractions, with little meaning on their own. Examining the behavior of the other Storellis, it becomes clear that "harmony" is achieved when political opposition is silenced, while a "balance between law and morality" is more accurately a nexus between corrupt police officers' appreciation for sports cars and the bottomless Storelli campaign fund.
Storelli Government Intervention: A Brief Overview
The Storelli family makes no secret about their willingness to work with crooked police officers and other state employees on the take. As a teenager, Dominic Storelli played a key role in the now-infamous "Five O'Clock Shadow" scandal of the early '00s. Working in collusion with Fresno's notoriously corrupt police force, Dominic helped coordinate and execute an attack on a harmless Fresno business, which resulted in bartender Ramiro Partida losing his job. Clearly, the adolescent Storelli was trying to send a message, but to whom? Partida was small-time compared to him, and we know all too well by now that the Storellis set their sights high.
Several years later, Dominic Storelli was a staffer for Congressman Daniel Lungren, of California's 3rd District. Acting on the counsel of Storelli, Lungren began introducing legislation consistent with the bigoted agenda of the Storelli family. In an effort to shape America to fit their twisted gaze, Lungren introduced an unsuccessful Constitutional amendment seeking to ban same-sex marriage. This being the first time a Storelli had ever tasted defeat or even faced any modicum of resistance, Dominic was resolved to restore his family's name. Thus, mere months later, Rep. Lungren snuck legislation through both the House and Senate to erect a temple to the Pagan deity worshipped by the Storelli family in Washington, D.C. on taxpayer dime.
Sins of the Brothers
Sarah Storelli no doubt learned her vicious craft from her brothers. In fact, in a piece of her own propaganda published by the Mustang Daily, she freely admits as much: "She added that both her brothers... have pushed her to get involved in her campus since grammar school." Exactly what goes on in the Storelli stronghold in the barren Fresno valley is anybody's guess, but one thing remains clear: that this "push" was in the direction of creating a Storellian police state on the Cal Poly campus. Dominic and Christopher may have taught Sarah the ropes, but she has already surpassed them both. Within 24 hours of the formation of our Coalition, Storelli was being shadowed by a police detail who had been given specific orders to arrest any CRAKCPC members on sight.
The Storelli family cannot be allowed to continue committing its misdeeds unchecked. Dominic once had a United States Congressman in his pocket, but Rep. Lungren was eventually able to free himself from his thrall. This serves as an important lesson for Alex Kaplan and his followers: while the Storellis are powerful, they are not invincible and they can be defeated. If there is a chink in their armor, let us expose it and strike a blow to the heart of their organization. The twilight of the Storelli dynasty nears. By week's end we will see her name disgraced and her campaign in ruin.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Know Your Enemy, Vol. I: Sarah Storelli
Public Enemy No. 1
African-American political activist Ras Kass once said, "Let freedom ring with a buckshot, but not just yet; / first we need to truly understand the nature of the threat." But what is the nature of the threat we face today? For Alex Kaplan, it is surely an existential threat, but what of the average Cal Poly student's plight?
Sarah Storelli, despite what her campaign website says, represents the gravest and most immediate danger our small community has ever faced. She can fulfill no role in the university except as pollutant. She claims to "represent the ... opinions of the entire student body", but for her such empty, nonsensical political jargon could not be further from the truth. She is, in fact, an abomination among Cal Poly students. She is so far removed from humanity in general and the student community in particular that in attempting to connect with and emulate students, she has reinvented herself as a poisonous simulacrum. She has become an embodiment of a set of characteristics which are otherwise absent from our noble institution.
Her character is so incompatible with anything even remotely resembling that of a Cal Poly student, there are reasonable grounds to question the legitimacy of her eligibility for office. Amid these allegations against her enrollment status, Sarah Storelli refuses to address the issue, in public or on her website. It is not unreasonable for the voting public to want to exercise their right to thoroughly vet a candidate running for higher office. Patterned after Barack Obama's official website's inclusion of his own birth certificate, Sarah Storelli could have publicly displayed a copy of her official Cal Poly transcript. Instead, she has dodged the issue whenever raised by concerned citizens.
Even in the full-page advertisement that Storelli shills bought for her in the April 27, 2010 issue of the Mustang Daily and tried to pass off as legitimate journalism, Sarah Storelli freely admits that Stanford was her "first choice", while Cal Poly was runner-up. However, she goes on to claim that she was "sold" once she "saw everyone... excited about school spirit", but if that were true, why did she choose red and white as the colors of her campaign? Cal Poly's colors are green and gold; red and white are the colors of Stanford University, her "first choice". By contrast, in all of Alex Kaplan's campaign material, he is seen proudly displaying the green and gold of our university, like a genuine Cal Poly student ought to.
Earlier there was mention of Obama's birth certificate. You are no doubt curious as to why CRAKCPC does not demand the public display of Storelli's birth certificate in a similar fashion. The answer is more sinister than you could imagine, my dear friends: evidence suggests that Storelli was not born in the traditional sense. "She" is a malevolent, soulless construct, an affront to God that willed itself into existence from the bloated, ineffectual bureaucracy that is Cal Poly's student government.
Storelli's campaign rhetoric is as dangerous to the moral fabric of our university as her questionable loyalties. At best, her platforms are vague and incoherent; at worst, they border on hate speech advocating a return to Jim Crow-era segregation. Her policy on "Sustainability" is more recycling bins and fewer lights, while in the name of "Safety" she asks for more lights. Which is it, Storelli? Make up your mind, flip-flopper. For sake of "Diversity", she seeks to "connect diverse groups." But what does this mean? "In order to help bridge the gap that currently exists between multiple organizations on campus," she elaborates, "I would like to have more collaborative and joint philanthropic events and efforts with the MultiCultural Center (MCC), Greek Life, Student Life and Leadership," et al.
How is marginalizing underrepresented communities and resigning them to share their spotlight with each other going to help increase on-campus diversity, or help actively recruit and retain students of color, you ask? Great question! There is a Storellism which answers that question in full: "When looking at university statistics on the surface level, Cal Poly does not seem widely diverse," she concedes. However, "After breaking down the stereotypical barrier that diversity only constitutes as race, [sic] we realize how each individual has diverse thoughts and interests." Translated into plain English, she appears to be trying to tell us that while Cal Poly may seem culturally and racially homogenous in any widely accepted sense of the terms, once we acknowledge the fact that white people are beautiful snowflakes each possessing their own unique qualities, we can realize that diversity isn't really an issue at all! Such disingenuous rhetoric is typical of ASI, whose members are infamous for advocating white separatism. Unsurprisingly, they've booked a local Aryan reggae band for election night.
Judgement Approaches: Red Shirts Will Roll
Sarah Storelli's treacherous tendrils reach deeper than we had previously feared, brothers and sisters, and at this very moment her sympathizers plot against us. Earlier today, our Facebook group was prey to a cyberterrorist attack spearheaded by Storelli operatives placed within the social networking website's administration. CRAKCPC sources close to the website suspect that Zuckerberg himself may have been implicated in the attack. More on this as it develops.
Later in the day, while I was innocently working on homework, President Baker's secret police abducted me and put me before an impromptu military tribunal, to testify about the "crime" of coordinating our Resistance. First they took away our tank tops, and now they have the audacity to deprive us of our God-given free speech? The entire Cal Poly administration appears to be in Storelli's deep pockets. Be wary of whom you trust: we are among Storelli's agents at all times.
Do not let your confidence waver or your resolve falter, comrades! These are but minor setbacks. The Resistance will prevail. I have been to the mountaintop, and I have seen the Promised Land, and it is free of Storelli's foul corruption. When Judgement Day comes, the clouds will part and our enemies will be bathed in the righteous light of our cause.
If Storelli is a campus crusader, then let us be the Mahometans defending the Holy Land from her sickly white grasp.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Mission Statement
Alex Kaplan
brother, leader, martyr
Now, we the members of CRAKCPC are resolved to see the restoration of a tragic hero in his darkest hour.
We demand:
1. The immediate public apology of the entire staff of the Mustang Daily, and its subsequent resignation. The corruption's roots run deep; every student involved in the creation of those fateful newspaper articles is culpable for these heinous crimes, from lowly photographer Patrick Fina to disgraced Editor-in-Chief Emilie Egger, whose name is as alliterative as she is illiterate.
2. The concession of Sarah Storelli from the ASI Presidential race. We will not stand for the noxious, white supremacist vitriol which fuels her campaign, nor will we let her role as co-conspirator in the plot against Alex Kaplan go unpunished. Once she has publicly announced her resignation, she must surrender herself to Judicial Affairs, where she will be placed at the mercy of the same corrupt bureaucracy which once sought to put her in power.
3. The restoration of Alex Kaplan's Presidential campaign, as well as the guaranteed inclusion of his name on the election ballot. To permit this farcical trope of Democracy to continue unchecked would be a crime of the same magnitude and nature as those already perpetrated against him.
4. The seizure and subsequent redistribution of Sarah Storelli's hoard of campaign wealth among the students of Cal Poly, as penance for her crimes. In addition, Storelli's red-shirted gestapo will be made to submit their campaign uniforms to a pyre; its cleansing fire will purge our proud university of the taint of her actions.
5. The tearing down of the exterior walls of the University Union. No longer will Kelly Griggs and her ASI junta be permitted to coordinate and execute their nefarious machinations protected by the cloister of an urban fortress. The reign of the clandestine regime of ASI's shadow government is coming to a close. With Alex Kaplan, an era of progress and radical transparency will be ushered in, and "better communication and shit" along with it.
We stand at the precipice of a moment of great change, and we do so in solidarity with a greater man. If our demands are not met promptly and in full, there will be a reckoning the likes of which our campus has never witnessed. The Mustang Daily will have its darkest secrets brought to light, and in the process it will fall further from grace, to the darkest depths of the journalistic abyss. The ensuing controversy will no doubt cause the Journalism Department to be denied its request for reaccreditation. Closet Alex Kaplan supporters will rise, and the University Union will run red with the cast-down shirts of Storelli's secret police.
Alex Kaplan has endured character assassination, and worse. Now, let us effect his restoration and see justice brought unto those who once conspired against him.
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